Sitting in soho with some random people. The most random being Ryan, who won't stop bitching about how fat he is.

God help me if I shove this corn muffin down his skinny little throat.

Ha ha ha. :) Love you Ryan.

I don't know why I am so tired. I have been fighting some strange kind of exhaustion for the past few days. At first, I thought it was just due to working hard at a new store; maybe I overdid it. Now I'm starting to think that I might be facing a new wave of depression....the continuous ebb and flow of emotions that rules my life. I was filled with this hallowness last night...I took a long walk around midnight, hoping to clear my mind. Hard to clear your mind when there is hardly anything in it.

So I'm half way through the first day. Its been ok so far. Its always difficult adjusting to a new situation, where you feel like the odd man out. Its going to take some time before I feel the same level of closeness as I did with the people back at my old store. But then again, I might never feel that same level of friendship, since I practically trained the whole staff at the store.

It's difficult here trying ot figure out what my limits are. I'm so used to being a supervisor, being able to make decisions, or being looked upona as a guide and teacher. At this store, even though I'm not knew to the company, it still feels like I dont know much. And people of course treat me obligionaly. But I totally expected that. People trying to show me that, "we have to offer all our customers gift wrap." Well no duh! I've trained almost 100 people on how to be succussful in this company. But I guess its just a burden to bear: I'm trying to excel and do the very best I can, but I'm totally aware that I don't want to come off as a know-it-all or be completely overbearing and annoying.

And the worst part is trying to learn everyone's name....You would think that with name tag's on, it would be easy, but you would be suprised how often a person's name is completely obscured or unreadable. *la sigh* Time will smooth over all rough edges.

About to start my first day at the new location.....

I noticed something odd on the metro today. A while back, there was a big stink because some nasty congressman from Georgia, Bob Barr, ordered the Metro rail system to change the signs at National Airport so that they said Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport. It cost metro thousands of dollars; normally when an area wants a station name changed, that area has to pay to have it done. Arlington had no desire to change the name, but this asshole, who normally talked about the need to keep the federal government out of local affairs, blackmailed Metro into doing it and paying for. His rationale: People might get lost looking for Ronald Reagan National Airport when the signs only said National Airport. Nevermind that National is the ONLY airport that Metro serves.

So while riding home tonite, I was on one of the new trains, which feature a lighted display telling you the next station. Evidently Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport is too long to fit....so they abbreviated it......to Ronald Reagan National Apt.....

I wonder how many rednecks get lost trying to find Reagan's old apartment......

So my good good good, long lost friend Julie sent me some pics of a party she recently went to in the Cali desert.

*sigh* This is what partying is about. Its the only thing about the west coast I miss. Well, besides Julie.

Peter and my's discreet conversation in soho, during open mic night:

Phoenix: shoot me now!!!!!!!

Peter: if only i brought my shot-gun

Phoenix: you bastard!!!

Peter: he's not so bad

Phoenix: he's one of the better ones....

Phoenix: they have gucci face masks....i want one ;p

Peter: louis vuitton baby

Peter: i'm mildly offend by this wedding shit

Phoenix: oh my god, every single comic has been straight.....one comic tried asking this one
guy about his "lady"....he was so obviously gay...it was really awful.

Peter: i'm taking over the world....duh

Phoenix: i have been sipping this same chai for three hours.

Peter: ewey have some water, si vous volai (sp?)

Phoenix: he's fading fast....

Peter: how long do these kids avg? like fifteen minutes

Phoenix: at least he's hot.

Peter: sure

Peter: do i look like i'm 'trying' to be disaffected,

CNN.com - Judge: Millions of CD buyers owed money - Jun. 16, 2003

Hmmm...a long time ago, I filled out a claim form to join this lawsuit, since I had purchased so many cd's. :) I wonder if I will be getting a check any time soon.

So I have absolutely no luck with computers or computer related equipment. Not even a week after I buy a new wireless card (to replace an older dead one), but it breaks. Something is rattling around on the inside. So I took it back to exchange it for another at BestBuy. But of course I can't find the receipt, so they refused to take it back. Which is totaly retarded: I wasn't trying to get money back, I just wanted to exchange it for the exact same thing. Bastards.

So I had to buy a new one. And you KNOW that I'm going to take the dead one, put it in the new box, and then take it back with the receipt. And now they will be giving me some cash back. Bastards.

This was actually written yesterday....a sort of stream of conciousness thing:

Ok…I know how much I say that I love the rain, but even now its starting to get to me. I just got caught in this huge downpour wile walking to Soho to meet Carlos . We are supposed to meet at 5 pm. It’s a few minutes until, but he isn’t here yet. I hope that he gets here. I am soaking wet. I look like I just went swimming in full clothes.

So some strange people just came and sat down next to me. Space is a little tight here; so many people have rushed in from the rain. It looks like the rain has let up, but it could start again at any minute. I don’t know how long it is going to take my clothes to dry. I really don’t want to go walking around in clothes that are dripping.

I was walking to soho from my new store at 18th st when it started to rain. It came down in huge droplets, which were being wipped about by the wind. So my umbrella was practically useless. But at least I had a good tour with Jenn at the new location. Its going to be great working there: Seems to be staffed by some nice, though not talkative, people. And there were more than a few cute guys, not to mention the customers. I’ll have to pay attention to what someone wrote in my going away card: Don’t get in trouble flirting.

Ok, so there is an open table right next to me: Why aren’t these old people moving. There is no reason why they need to keep sitting at my table. Oh gawd, one of them is wearing a cross. Ew. What the hell are they doing in Dupont Circle? Save me Jeebus.

I just switched tables, under the guise of needing to move near a plug. I really do need a plug, but more than that, I wanted to get away from their cigarette smoke. And where I’m sitting now, its harder for people to see just how completely soaked I am. Which, I think, is beginning to dry.

Hmmm….someone just came up and touched me. My wetness is an excuse for people to put there hands on different parts of my body to find out just how “wet” I am. I could use this to my advantage.

And it wasn’t a complete stranger who just touched me. But, I do realize that discretion is probably appropriate here. *laff*

I'm craving yogurt.

How amazing is this...I got an email to a wedding, or rather a "commitment ceremony" from my ex-boyfriend Chip. We dated over 5 years ago, and we havent talked in over three years. He lives somewhere back west (I'm assuming still in Arizona) and is marrying the guy he started dating right after me, Lance.

That is so fucking amazing! It really gives you hope that you can find someone and really stick it out. And Chip was such an awesome guy, no one deserves happiness more than him! It really brightened my day to see this random invite from him: Its even more amazing because I have no idea how he got my email. Its amazing that I didnt simply delete it, since it came to my "spam" account.

So love exists, for some people, and being gay isn't an exclusion from finding it. Good stuff!

Well...its pretty much official....

I'm taking a demotion/transfer/pay cut at Borders.....I have to get away from my boss, who basically flat out told me today that she doesn't like me, and hasn't for a long time. So I'm switching to a new location, working for a woman I absolutely adore.

Its going to be pretty rough for a while. My cash flow is going to dry up for a month or two. But hopefully, in the end, it will all be worth it.