I think I'm feeling better today. Or maybe I'm just tired. Or maybe its just the weather. Its beautiful today. I just want to go and sit in a field and feel the grass between my fingers and stare at the sky....

I got a haircut the other day, and started feeling more comfortable with it yesterday. I guess that gave me confidence. And inventory wasn't as bad as I was expecting. Not that I'm kidding myself: It was still bad. Its the most tedious thing in the world, and after five hours of counting, I started to believe that I didn't know HOW to count. Plus the store was hotter than an oven, so I'm counting while I'm sweating. Luckily one of the guys from RGIS who was kinda cute was flirting with me, so I stuck close to him most of the time.

At the end of the night, one of my managers got stuck in the elevator. It just stopped between the Cafe and street level floors. No one could figure out how to get her out, so they had to call the fire department. My coworker Joe and I got a brainstorm, however, and went up the cafe level and tried to pry the doors apart.....We only got them open a bit, but when we let go and they closed, the elevator descended down a level. She was out, and we were heroes! Though the fire men didn't seem to agree: They got there right as we got her out, and seemed more annoyed at having to have made the trip.

After inventory, I decided to go stay at a friends house rather then face the 2hour time waster that is my commute home. We stayed up all night talking about absolutely nothing of importance. In fact, we really didn't talk much at all. He played on the computer while I played solitare and read. We would occasionally talk in order to make smart ass comments about the inane news coverage of the war that was on tv all night. I think that did the trick: Just sitting, not having to talk, not having to worry, just relaxing.

And not being alone.

Had a three hour marathon session of cleaning the apartment last night. I started at 10pm, right as I got home from work. Thats really how I enjoy spending my Saturday nights. This place was disgusting. I took out 5 huge bags of garbage and washed so many damn dishes, even moped the floor.

This is so fucking frustrating. I am so tired from working so much, and then I have to come home and fucking clean. And now its Sunday, I have to go into work again, and we are out of cat food...So when I get off work at 11pm, I'm going to have to try to stop somewhere and pick some up. Because I wont have time tomorrow, my only day off, because there are too many errands to do.

I feel like I'm going to break down and just start crying because I'm so tired. I feel really alone and helpless. I'm trying to ignore it by keeping myself "occupied" but I know its eventually going to crash in on me. Probably the next time I'm bleary-eyed, walking down the aisles of Giant at 1am after I just got off from work, trying to find some toilet paper because no one has bought any for months....

God this sucks.

Explosions light sky over Baghdad

So its starting. The world holds its breath. Like September 11th, the world we wake up to tomorrow might be vastly different then the one tonite. The peace and security we all hoped for seems to slip further from our grasp.

My feet are freezing.

Is that Peter Tamarkin in the talk-show ripoff commercial for Frosted Mini-Wheats? Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

Weekend Peace Protests Planned (washingtonpost.com)

They aren't marching around the White House: They are marching around my damn store!

Its so annoying having them so close, and I can't join them! Why the hell do I always have to work on Saturdays??

Oh............yeah, because I refuse to work on Sundays.

My friend Mark dropped by my work today. That really cheered me up, if for an hour. Just seeing him always cheers me up for some reason.

All concerned parties now know of my interest to transfer stores, so it will probably happen in the next week or so. I'm sad about it, but I have to go. Just going to work these days is so hard, because I know how aggrevating its going to be each day. Its a challenge just to get out of bed and I come home so angry that I dont want to talk to anyone. Expect I do want to talk to someone, thats the damn catch. Blah. It will all be over soon I hope.

So the second evacuation of my store in less than two weeks happened today. This time though, it was in the middle of a weekday (right at noon), and two blocks all around were evacuated as well. They even evacuated all the guests from the Willard Hotel, apparently because of suspicious car in my building's parking garage.

At least I didn't get the phone call this time.

Some Evidence on Iraq Called Fake (washingtonpost.com)

I am going to laugh so freaking hard if this "president" ends up getting us all killed.

Oh wait. Maybe I wont be laughing.

Just got home from work...a few hours early. We had to shut down because of a bomb threat that was phoned in to the store.

Guess who answered the phone? Yup, me.

Needless to say, I'm a wee bit shaken.